Hope everyone’s ready for Halloween tomorrow!
I’m feeling lazy, so here’s Sear again with pumpkin stuff.
Now to go and get some candy for–for the childrens…
I’m sure we’re all familiar with the sleazy but time-honored practice of shunting off portions of the cost of an item or service into a miscellany of arbitrary fees that are inseparable from the cost of trading in said item or service – and thus have no reason not to be factored into the sale price – in order to deceptively advertise a false, lower cost.
When the local K-Mart was closing down and selling off their fixtures, however, I saw what has to be the most blatant, lazy, and absurd example of this I could possibly imagine – a “buyer’s fee.”
Let me say that again – a “buyer’s fee.”
I mean, is there anything more inherent to the cost of buying an item than, you know, buying it? It’s practically a parody of itself.
“See, this shelving unit costs $50, but the privilege of actually buying it will run you another $7.50. You can avoid the buyer’s fee if you just want to pay the fifty bucks and let us keep the unit.”
Way to go, K-Mart. You’ll be the envy of ISPs everywhere. (>^-‘)>
What have you been doing?
Have you been drinking waiting room coffee out of a room-temperature cup like some sort of–some sort of deranged psychopath?
Warm your paper cups, everyone, so they can be warm. Warm them. Warm them on clearance for only one-hundred and fifty of the dollars, which is an even better deal than warming your cups for $300.
Make your paper cups warm even before you pour scalding bean juice into them and they get so hot you have to use a cardboard sleeve to comfortably hold them.
What are you doing?
Warm your cups.
As we sit a week from Halloween, I’d like to take this opportunity to present this particular decoration for a moment of discriminating consideration.
A clever enough concept at the outset, I’m sure, but unfortunately marred in being constructed, or at least depicted, as a Halloween ghost decoration by a manufacturer who decided to make a Halloween ghost decoration while completely missing the whole basic premise of a Halloween ghost.
It takes a special kind of talent, you know?
Yeah, filth burner, that’s what I’m talking about. Cleanse it with fire. Scorch those germs away. Got a pile of dirty dishes making an eyesore out of your kitchen? Screw cleaning – just stack them all up on this baby and turn that adjustable temperature control up to immolation and poof – no more dishes. It’s tested. It’s proven. And it wipes clean.
Durable Filth Burner*. You know you want it.
[ * May or may not have simply been a misreading upon first glance and in actuality been something far less ridiculous ]
Oh, hey, a networked hard drive you can set up to access from anywhere. That could be handy. $100? O.K., yeah, better than an ongoing subscription to a cloud service. What’s the storage space on that thing?
Oh. Well, um, hmm.
I guess that should be enough to store a list of things I could use it for.