SPACE WINNER

SpaceWinner.jpg

 

SPACE WINNER!

YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Do you–do you want to win?  DO YOU?

Don’t just win the land and the sea and the sky THAT’S FOR BABIES.

DON’T BE A BABIES.

You need to–need to win at SPACE.

Stars and lasers and synth music everywhere!

Win it!  Win the space!  Win 68cm x 38cm x 85cm of OUTER SPACE!

You can do it!

DISCOVER A F%$#ING PLANET.

You can be–

BE A SPACE WINNER!!!

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!!

BODENSCHRANK!

 

Bene vīvite.

SIP CHUG!

SipChug

 

Do you want to do your part to cut down on resource consumption, but still want to look like you take your beverages from disposable aluminum containers that you could, at any moment, crush against your skull and toss onto the sidewalk as you walk by with a satisfied belch?

Do you want to drink from a reusable metal mock-pull-tab can?

Why?

I mean, you can – look at the picture – you can, but why?  Why, though?

Why do you want to do that?

Do you want to put your drink into a metal soda/beer can, but then use a straw anyway?

Even more why?

Is this–is this a good idea?

Why does one of the straws have a gasket on it?

 

Bene scribete.

A Long Way From Home

Fish Notes

 

Whew. This piece wasn’t easy to get right. Glad I stuck with it, though, since I like how it turned out.

Not sure what it’s for – just a synth and orchestral blend that wormed its way into my head and rattled around until I could put it together.

 

 

As is typical for wide-range pieces, SoundCloud’s compression crushed the audio, but feel free to download for higher quality.

 

Bene scribete.

RUFFWEAR!!!

GripTrex
 

Dog shoes are a thing.  I think, on some level, we all know this.  But there’s something about the presentation of these ones in particular that stands out.

Is it the needless naming of them “bark’n boots” or the even more needless trademarking of said name?

Is it the casual classification of them as “paw wear” as though that were an everyday product category?

Is it the perfectly fashion-shot close-up of a dog paw model (and the realization that that’s also a thing)?

Is it that the packaging designer forgot about capital letters?

No.  I think it’s the mascot’s opinion on all of the above.

 

Ruffwear

 

Just look at that sass.  “RUFFWEAR?  Are you kidding me?”

Mascot dog, I salute you.  You don’t have time for all that nonsense.  You just want some little booties for your paws.

 

Bene scribete.

Sadtress

GMFMattress.jpg

 

I have a frowny face today.

I finally broke down and decided to replace my verging-on-twenty-year-old mattress to see if a new bed would help mitigate my chronic fatigue (probably in vain, but hey, it has to be better than aging time-compressed springs, right?).  After waffling around for a month, I ended up ordering one of those fancy 12-inch three-layer gel memory foam types.  A little wary of ordering a mattress without being able to try it first, but it was on super-sale and very well reviewed, so here’s hoping.

It was supposed to arrive on Thursday, but when it still didn’t on Friday, I gave UPS a call.  Apparently they lost the package.

How do you lose a mattress?

I mean, a book or movie or something I can understand, but…

Anyway, I called the seller, and they said they’d work with UPS to try to find it, and otherwise send out a new one, which is good, but it means I’ll probably have to wait another couple weeks to maybe hopefully actually finally get a good night’s sleep for once.

Oh, the little things we look forward to…

 

Bene vīvite.