Do the Safety Pants



Is this a style of shorts now?  With danglies hanging off the bottom?

Is it–is it so you can strap in your legs?

In case you’re really bad at wearing pants?


Bene vīvite.


Burn the Filth Away

Burn away the filth


Yeah, filth burner, that’s what I’m talking about.  Cleanse it with fire.  Scorch those germs away.  Got a pile of dirty dishes making an eyesore out of your kitchen?  Screw cleaning – just stack them all up on this baby and turn that adjustable temperature control up to immolation and poof – no more dishes. It’s tested.  It’s proven.  And it wipes clean.

Durable Filth Burner*.  You know you want it.


[ * May or may not have simply been a misreading upon first glance and in actuality been something far less ridiculous ]


Bene vīvite.

Just Standing

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t like to put words on paper.  I wanted to post something I’d written as a child, so here’s a frivolous little poem I did around twelve years old.


Umbrella Man


The streetlamps flood the lane with light
To chase the darkness from the night.
The road is empty, all are gone
Except for one man, by a lawn.
A quite short man, with not much hair.
But why is he just standing there?

All have gone home – no one is out,
So what’s this man thinking about?
A bitter coldness chills the air.
But why is he just standing there?

It’s freezing out, and just a note –
He’s here outside without a coat.
I know I really shouldn’t care…
But why is he just standing there?

This question fills my mind with “wow”;
It’s all that I can think of now.
His stillness gives me quite a scare.
But why is he just standing there?

A blank expression on his face
Like he’d been there for many days.
This kind of thing, I’d say, is rare.
But why is he just standing there?

I’m set as stone, so stiff, this night.
My eyes are fixed upon the sight.
My arms are crossed, my eyebrows raised;
I’m in the most peculiar daze.
My thoughts have left, my mind is clear.

But why am I just standing here?


(I know, I know; ‘days’ is a terrible, lazy rhyme for ‘face’…that still bugs me)

Anyone else feeling brave enough to dig something up?  (>^-‘)>


Bene scribete.