A plastic dog came up to me.
He asked for five; I gave him three.
I guess that was all right, since he
Accepted that instead.A metal cat went up to you.
She asked for ten – what did you do?
I heard you only gave her two.
I guess that’s why you’re dead.
Bene scribete.
Dog shoes are a thing. I think, on some level, we all know this. But there’s something about the presentation of these ones in particular that stands out.
Is it the needless naming of them “bark’n boots” or the even more needless trademarking of said name?
Is it the casual classification of them as “paw wear” as though that were an everyday product category?
Is it the perfectly fashion-shot close-up of a dog paw model (and the realization that that’s also a thing)?
Is it that the packaging designer forgot about capital letters?
No. I think it’s the mascot’s opinion on all of the above.
Just look at that sass. “RUFFWEAR? Are you kidding me?”
Mascot dog, I salute you. You don’t have time for all that nonsense. You just want some little booties for your paws.
Bene scribete.
This…this panda is so happy at the prospect of being a dog’s busy buddy / mouth friend.
That face. That reality-piercing gaze. It’s hypnotic. It’s terrifying. It’s sheer, unrestrained joy contorted into a caricature of soulless delight in its own impending destruction.
Don’t you dare try to tell me that’s its nose.
Don’t you dare.
Bene scribete.
I feel like you shouldn’t put dingo meat in the middle of dog treats, let alone 25% more of it. Not even mini dingoes.
I feel like that’s basically cannibalism.
I feel like you shouldn’t make your dog a cannibal.
I feel like that’s inconsiderate.
Bene edite.
There once was a dog
Who shed so much fur
That when she was done,
Was naught left of her.Tornadoes of orange
And cyclones of white
Have blocked out the sun
And brought on the night.There once was a dog
Where now there is air
And one metric ton
Of creamsicle hair.
Bene scribete.
Sear is back at it – this time with some fascinating new information on everyone’s favorite guilt-ridden pastry.
I don’t know about you, but I kind of want a doughnut.
Bene scribete.
My brother is a silly person. Perhaps we are related.
Dealing with vine videos on a computer is awkward.
Bene scribete.
In lieu of having time to finish the article I meant to post this week, I shall instead very belatedly insist upon the reading of the ever-hilarious Me Dangerbolt‘s harrowing adventures with a psychotic neighborhood dog who thinks its life is a video game:
And don’t forget to check out the DLC! (>^-‘)>
Bene scribete.
Writin' Fish 