Super Normal

Just another normal day, shopping for Normal Things at Rosauers.

 

PenneChreese

 

Oh, nothing to see here.  Just a perfectly normal box of penne and ch–

 

Chreese

 

…of…

…of…

…what in the unholy $%&# is chreese!?

I feel like whoever titled this product’s mouth melted in the midst of saying it, and no one bothered to question it.  I mean, surely, they thought, surely, an actual human being, living here in this reality, speaking this very language, meant make the sound “chreese” on purpose.

That’d be normal, wouldn’t it?

 

Bene ēdite.

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Any Way You Choose

CookieDoughColdstone

 

Apparently, some time between my recent visit to Cold Stone and the last time before that, there was a period where they did not serve cookie dough as a topping.  Which on one hand is a shame, since I pretty much always get cookie dough as a topping there (yes, yes, judge away), but on the other, could just mean that I have good timing when it comes to ice cream.

I almost took this seemingly reasonable and informative sign in stride until I noticed the hilariously unnecessary use of the word ‘ultimate’.  It’s as though the sign-writer got most of the way through the sign before suddenly realizing that it was wasting the opportunity to remind everyone of how amazing and hardcore ice cream is, and so hurriedly applied an arbitrary buzzword to something mundane and called it a day.

So there I am, awkwardly cracking up in the ice cream line in a pretty ultimate way.  You know how it is.

 

Bene ēdite.

Mythic Mead

mythicmead
Many congratulations to my good friend (and former DoD colleague / fellow author) Shauna Scheets and her veteran husband Will, who debuted the first commercial product of their meadery, Mythic Mead, yesterday at Boise’s North End Organic Nursery.

 

shaunawillmead

 

It’s a very Idaho-appropriate huckleberry mead, awesomely entitled “Huck Me.”  I’ve had the pleasure of sampling both test batches and the finished product, and let me tell you, it’s positively delightful.  It’s also as pure as you can get, utilizing no shortcut sulfites or added sugars and syrups – just water, honey, berries, and the yeast to ferment it, all locally sourced.

Mead, for anyone unaware, is essentially a wine made with honey instead of grapes.  Though it’s a drink that’s been around for a long time (picture the iconic viking tossing back a horn), Mythic Mead has the distinction of being the first licensed meadery in Idaho.  Exciting stuff!

If you’re in the Treasure Valley area, look for it in local retailers as it continues trickling out to shops (and it never hurts to ask your favorite place to stock it!).  If  you’re elsewhere in the U.S., and don’t want to wait for wider distribution, you can even order online!

If you’re a fan of sweet wines and get the chance, I encourage you to give it a try.

Take a sip of Mythic Mead, and savor the legend.

 

Bene ēdite.

Glass Juice

GlassJuice.jpg

 

Having trouble with a sore throat – not being able to get one, that is?

Tired of your esophagus not being torn to shreds?

Ever worry that you have too much blood?

Well, try glass juice!  Try it!

Open up your mind (and mouth (and guts)) to the sensation of drinking knives.

The only beverage made out of the bottle it comes in!

Glass juice.  Internal hemorrhaging has never been more refreshing.

 

Bene edite.

Eat Less Salad

dietdressing

 

Watching your figure, but still want to enjoy the tangy zest of dressing with your salad?  Why not try some diet dressing?  You can–

–wait.  Wait, wait,wait.  Cut 10,000 a month?  10,000?  How the $#%& much salad are you eating!?  That’s enough dressing for five salads a day.  That’s twelve bottles just for you.  Are you–are you just drinking the stuff?

You know, salad isn’t exactly a health food if you’re just using it as a vehicle to deliver a constant stream of dressing down your gullet.

Maybe you don’t need diet dressing.  Maybe you just need to consider eating something aside from salad every now and then.  (>^-‘)>

 

Bene edite.

That’s a Lot of Cake

megacake

 

Costco sells a seven-pound chocolate cake, and I’m always eyeing it.

I don’t have a reason to get a seven-pound chocolate cake, but I’d like a reason to get a seven-pound chocolate cake.

I just need an occasion to get enough people together to eat a seven-pound chocolate cake.

A cake party?

People have cake parties, right?

That’s not just a horribly gluttonous thing I made up, is it?

IS IT!?

Cake party.

 

Bene edite.

Nature’s Intent

ChocoPina.jpg

 

Nature’s intent, it says.  Did nature truly intend for pineapples to be covered in chocolate?  A question for the ages.

One which I believed I had the answer to.

In order to test my theory, I ingested a piece of pineapple covered in chocolate.  Indeed, my hypothesis was confirmed.

The answer is no, in case you were wondering.  Nature did not intend for pineapples to be covered in chocolate.

Because it’s gross.

Stop it, nature.

 

Bene edite.