Super Normal

Just another normal day, shopping for Normal Things at Rosauers.




Oh, nothing to see here.  Just a perfectly normal box of penne and ch–






…what in the unholy $%&# is chreese!?

I feel like whoever titled this product’s mouth melted in the midst of saying it, and no one bothered to question it.  I mean, surely, they thought, surely, an actual human being, living here in this reality, speaking this very language, meant make the sound “chreese” on purpose.

That’d be normal, wouldn’t it?


Bene ēdite.


The Flavor of White Babies

Ice cream baby


Ever get a hankering for baby?  A white baby in particular?  Maybe in smooth, rich ice cream?

Well, the bakery at Albertsons has got you covered, my friends, and they’ll do you one better.  They’ll satisfy your white baby ice cream craving in cake form.

You can pick up your very own baby-cake for $5.99 US dollars.  And it’s iced.


Bene edite.

The Flavor of Football

It probably tastes O.K.

Good Taste Restaurant.
Come on in and eat some food.
You’ll like how it tastes.


Who needs to spend all of that effort coming up with a catchy, memorable name?  Who has the time and mental capacity to remember some hip, catchy moniker that probably doesn’t even remotely suggest what’s being sold?

No, these folks know that when it comes to food, what you care about is taste.  And when it comes to taste, you want good taste.

No funny business.  No guessing games.  Just taste.  At a restaurant.  That’s good.

And you know that such keen insight into the needs of their customers wouldn’t mean much if they didn’t know what was popular here in the States, so go ahead and stop on by to enjoy the Super Bowl.


It's so super


Bene edite.

Housecapades: Part VI

After many weeks, screams, dollars, and disasters, I have a newly remodeled master bathroom. Yesterday was the first day I was able to take a shower in it since owning this house.



Pre-remodeled bathroom

[Click for 360 view]


You always try to steady yourself for everything to go terribly wrong when remodeling, though no matter how much you prepare for, it’s always more.  Rotten walls and floor behind the old shower – sure, I expected that.  Pipes the wrong length, height, or size for the new stuff – of course.  Things breaking left and right and needing to get three times the parts and materials as anticipated to compensate for bad design – naturally.  I wouldn’t have guessed the floor would end up delaying everything for days.

Whoever did that floor is just, well, a bad person.  Linoleum on top of linoleum stapled six-hundred times through a layer of plywood and even more linoleum beneath it into the subfloor.  I threw my back out trying to get it all up, leaving me useless as my dad and a friend had to finish the rest of the demolition.  Bad times.



Remodeled bathroom

[Click for 360 view]


I could go on a tirade detailing the countless setbacks and frustrations the whole process entailed, but at this point I’m just glad it’s over, and grateful to have gotten so much help with it all, particularly from my father, who willingly came all the way up here for the first week just to take part in this misery.

In light of that, here’s hoping he has an especially happy father’s day today.


Bene vīvite.


[I kind of regret that I never got a true “Before”, but I’d already repainted and replaced the switches/outlets when first moving in.]

Burn the Filth Away

Burn away the filth


Yeah, filth burner, that’s what I’m talking about.  Cleanse it with fire.  Scorch those germs away.  Got a pile of dirty dishes making an eyesore out of your kitchen?  Screw cleaning – just stack them all up on this baby and turn that adjustable temperature control up to immolation and poof – no more dishes. It’s tested.  It’s proven.  And it wipes clean.

Durable Filth Burner*.  You know you want it.


[ * May or may not have simply been a misreading upon first glance and in actuality been something far less ridiculous ]


Bene vīvite.