As we sit a week from Halloween, I’d like to take this opportunity to present this particular decoration for a moment of discriminating consideration.
A clever enough concept at the outset, I’m sure, but unfortunately marred in being constructed, or at least depicted, as a Halloween ghost decoration by a manufacturer who decided to make a Halloween ghost decoration while completely missing the whole basic premise of a Halloween ghost.
It takes a special kind of talent, you know?
Bene vīvite.
Looking for a–
…
Have you ever–
…
Need some–
–you know what, I’ve got nothing. I can’t even begin to pretend to know what’s going on with this particular alcoholic beverage.
Just…what?
Bene edite.
Yeah, filth burner, that’s what I’m talking about. Cleanse it with fire. Scorch those germs away. Got a pile of dirty dishes making an eyesore out of your kitchen? Screw cleaning – just stack them all up on this baby and turn that adjustable temperature control up to immolation and poof – no more dishes. It’s tested. It’s proven. And it wipes clean.
Durable Filth Burner*. You know you want it.
[ * May or may not have simply been a misreading upon first glance and in actuality been something far less ridiculous ]
Bene vīvite.
Oh, hey, a networked hard drive you can set up to access from anywhere. That could be handy. $100? O.K., yeah, better than an ongoing subscription to a cloud service. What’s the storage space on that thing?
Oh. Well, um, hmm.
I guess that should be enough to store a list of things I could use it for.
Bene scribete.
Sear is back at it – this time with some fascinating new information on everyone’s favorite guilt-ridden pastry.
I don’t know about you, but I kind of want a doughnut.
Bene scribete.
Don’t get me wrong – I think recycled products are great – but this tickled me as what has to be the most hipster brand name I’ve ever seen. Can’t you just hear the faux-dismissive judgement dripping off of it?
“It’s best to buy this brand of wax paper. You know,” – a shrug, a look to the side, eyebrow arching, lip turning up ever-so-slightly in simultaneous disdain and self-satisfaction – “if you care.”
They also make toilet paper.
Bene vīvite.
My brother is a silly person. Perhaps we are related.
Dealing with vine videos on a computer is awkward.
Bene scribete.
It’s that Learning Corner time again, and you know what that means – it’s time for The Learning Corner.
In this episode, Sear enlightens us on the subject of ferrets.
Well, then.
Bene scribete.
In lieu of having time to finish the article I meant to post this week, I shall instead very belatedly insist upon the reading of the ever-hilarious Me Dangerbolt‘s harrowing adventures with a psychotic neighborhood dog who thinks its life is a video game:
And don’t forget to check out the DLC! (>^-‘)>
Bene scribete.
Writin' Fish 