Any Way You Choose

CookieDoughColdstone

 

Apparently, some time between my recent visit to Cold Stone and the last time before that, there was a period where they did not serve cookie dough as a topping.  Which on one hand is a shame, since I pretty much always get cookie dough as a topping there (yes, yes, judge away), but on the other, could just mean that I have good timing when it comes to ice cream.

I almost took this seemingly reasonable and informative sign in stride until I noticed the hilariously unnecessary use of the word ‘ultimate’.  It’s as though the sign-writer got most of the way through the sign before suddenly realizing that it was wasting the opportunity to remind everyone of how amazing and hardcore ice cream is, and so hurriedly applied an arbitrary buzzword to something mundane and called it a day.

So there I am, awkwardly cracking up in the ice cream line in a pretty ultimate way.  You know how it is.

 

Bene ēdite.

When Are Bagel?

My favorite local bagelry went under and got bought out by Blue Sky a few months back.  Sad times for the local place, which was really good, but Blue Sky is pretty good too.

This sign they have up, however – at least how I choose to read it – may be a trifle psychotic.

 

We promise it's bagel

Blue Sky Bagel.
Now………Bagel.

 

It’s the dramatic pause that the space indicates, only to be followed up by redundancy and questionable grammar.  Good stuff.

Yeah.

Bagel.

 

Bene scribete.

Safety

So safe

 

I came across this sign posted near the employee break room at a Lowe’s in Meridian, and found it too delightfully absurd not to capture.

I guess they’re trying to make some sort of statement about…workplace precautionary responsibilities…?  I don’t even know, but it comes off as a hilarious micro-encapsulation – a reductio ad absurdum – of the whole security vs. freedom polarity.

But you’re right, Lowe’s – it’s hard to be in any less danger than in a state of utter existential stagnation.  (>^-‘)>

 

Bene scribete.