Peckin’

woodpecker

Woody, Woody, cut it out.
   Please don’t make me have to shout.
Woody, Woody, go away.
   Please don’t be a dick today.
Woody, Woody, that’s enough.
   Please don’t bang upon my stuff.
Woody, Woody, can’t you see
   That my house is not a tree?

 

I awoke yesterday to a strange knock – couldn’t tell if it was coming from inside or outside.  Thought it might have been a neighbor doing some yard work, but the cadence wasn’t reflective of any productive human activity I could think of, and it almost sounded like it was coming from inside the wall.

I went outside to find a cheeky woodpecker perched on the decorative trim on the side of my house, banging away at the stucco.  I reached down to pick up a snowball to throw at it, but when I looked back up it was gone.

It came back later.

And then again this morning.

Frowny face.

 

Bene scribete.

Nature’s Intent

ChocoPina.jpg

 

Nature’s intent, it says.  Did nature truly intend for pineapples to be covered in chocolate?  A question for the ages.

One which I believed I had the answer to.

In order to test my theory, I ingested a piece of pineapple covered in chocolate.  Indeed, my hypothesis was confirmed.

The answer is no, in case you were wondering.  Nature did not intend for pineapples to be covered in chocolate.

Because it’s gross.

Stop it, nature.

 

Bene edite.