Steampunk Serials

 

Shauna Scheets - Watched Time

 

To promote the upcoming release of the second volume in Shauna Scheets‘s series of steampunk shorts (say that five times fast!), the first – Watched Time – is free on Kindle today [9-27-14].

Give it a look!  And if you feel so inclined, it’s follow-up – Gunpowder and Lights – is available for pre-order (99¢ on Kindle, due for release on October 15, 2014).

 

Bene scribete.

Safety

So safe

 

I came across this sign posted near the employee break room at a Lowe’s in Meridian, and found it too delightfully absurd not to capture.

I guess they’re trying to make some sort of statement about…workplace precautionary responsibilities…?  I don’t even know, but it comes off as a hilarious micro-encapsulation – a reductio ad absurdum – of the whole security vs. freedom polarity.

But you’re right, Lowe’s – it’s hard to be in any less danger than in a state of utter existential stagnation.  (>^-‘)>

 

Bene scribete.

Lost Time

Lost Time Cover

 

Just wanted to spread the word that Shauna Scheets‘s Lost Time – second volume in the Caillte Saíocht prequel trilogy – released this week!

As a promotional bonus, the first volume – Ascha – will be free on Kindle today and tomorrow (9/7 – 9/8), so go check it out if you haven’t yet!

 

Bene scribete.

Frown Circles

Berry Oreos

Berry Oreos
Seem like a tasty notion.
This is not the case.

 

I like different flavored Oreos (mint, chocolate, peanut butter – they’re all great).  Raspberry and chocolate together are kind of fantastic.  So a raspberry oreo seems like a winning combination, right?

Nabisco disagrees.  Instead, they figure a hypersweet powdery paste of Trix and Cap’n Crunch berries between Oreo wafers would be a better idea.

It is not.  Just so you know.

 

Bene edite.

Funky Clunky

Sad Cloud

 

Bwuh.  I’ve been in a sort of creative funk the last couple weeks or so – you know the type that comes on the other side of finding awesome things, admiring others’ work to the point where all your own ideas start to taste bland and unexciting for a while, getting caught in a hyperanalytical loop trying to isolate the elements of whatever made this or that so effective?

On the upside, I sometimes emerge from these with a compelling new idea as my mind kicks into overdrive in a desperate attempt to synthesize some kind of conceptual catharsis for whatever notions I’m hung up on.  The motivational lethargy is just a bummer in the meantime.

Inspiration, come to meeeee~~~

 

Bene scribete.

Guardians of the Galaxy: The Anatomy of a Candy Bar

GOTG_teaser

 

I’m not really a huge comic book person, but I have thus far enjoyed what Marvel Studios has done with its cinematic franchise, committing to a combined setting that links all the films together and gives them a larger feel than they would otherwise have alone.  That said, although the tenth entry is the least connected to that shared universe yet, I think Guardians of the Galaxy is the first to live up to that sense of wit and charm set by the studio’s stellar initial outing of Iron Man.

It’s not perfect, and it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t know that I can quantify precisely why I enjoyed it so much, but it’s just so delightful that you may as well call it a big, tasty – kind of sweet, kind of nutty – candy bar in movie form.

 

Awesome Mix Tape #1You’ve got the rich, chocolate coating of some fantastic visuals and CGI.  Take a break from the dark and dour – this is comic-book colorful at its finest.  Atop that, there’s a sprinkle of mixed nuts in the form of a catchy 1970s soundtrack.  Not exactly what you’d expect with science fiction, but the songs are well-chosen, have a story-relevant presence, and add to the quirky vibe of the film.  “Come and Get Your Love” is one of those songs that periodically seems to pop into my head at random, so there was a strange sort of pleasure in hearing it kick off the title sequence.  And “Hooked on a Feeling” has been stuck in my head all week – thanks, Marvel.

Next, we have a layer of sea-salted caramel that provides the standout flavor of off-kilter fun and humor throughout.  It’s a nice, consistent layer – this is a fabulously mirthful movie.  The characters are all memorable and entertaining, pulling off a constant stream of smiles and a good spread of bust-out laughs from start to finish, which is a handy feat to accomplish (again, I’d say the original Iron Man is the only other Marvel flick to succeed there).

RocketThen, at the center of our confection, we have a curious core of treacle named Rocket – an unconventional secret ingredient that complements the rest better than one might expect and really makes the whole thing pop.  I guess there are two reactions you could have to the notion of a talking raccoon bounty hunter in a live-action space romp: you can throw up your hands and say “O.K., this is a bit too ridiculous,” or you can sit back, buy into the craziness, and marvel (…yeah, I said it) at just how realized the scene-stealing little furball is.  Rocket could have easily been a one-note gimmick, and in the hands of most writer/directors probably would have been, but James Gunn (who admits to a little favoritism) instead gives this computer-animated unhuman character fully-fledged protagonist status, the like of which has only really been done (at least effectively) in District 9 and Rise of the Planet of the Apes – but unlike Christopher Johnson (and Guardians co-star Groot), Rocket has to avoid an uncanny valley in resembling an actual animal, and unlike Caesar (and Guardians co-star Groot), he has to speak a whole lot more than a three-word sentence containing his name.  But chocolate and treacle can mix pretty well, as it turns out, and the CGI is at its most impressive with this raccoon; he’s wonderfully expressive, and the film isn’t shy about showing him off and getting up close, even giving him half of the movie’s more emotional moments and nearly as much screen time as lead real-world-occupying-object Chris Pratt.  This scruffy, snarly, smartass little critter isn’t relegated to the role of cutesy sidekick, but is all the more adorable for it.

Ronan the AccuserOf course, as with any big-name sweets there are chemical preservatives and empty calories to consider, like aliens that make Star Trek races look imaginative and a central conflict that can be politely described as stock.  Compelling antagonists have never been a strong suit of Marvel films, though (perhaps with the exception of Loki, but only in the first Thor), and to be fair, the primary arc was really more about this group of characters coming to terms with each other than it was them actually guarding the galaxy.  Lee Pace, at least, deserves credit for the effort he put into what little he was given to work with as bad guy Ronan, his excellent delivery providing his uninspired dialogue with more weight than it deserved.  And I did appreciate the self-awareness of Quill’s quip that the MacGuffin had a “Maltese Falcon sort of vibe.”  (>^-‘)>

Finally, we mustn’t forget the nougat – that mystery substance that holds everything together.  Call it a Disney touch, comic book excitement, or Star Wars magic – hard to say exactly what this special stuff is, but I suppose you don’t need to know to enjoy it.

 

So, yes, Guardians of the Galaxy is a fresh, unique, satisfying cinematic candy bar.  It makes me happy, and though it may not be the most nutritional thing ever, damnit if I don’t want another bite.

 

Bene Scribete.

How Don’ts

Tutorial videos on how to do things correctly are all over the place.  It’s old hat, Jack.  But what if you need to know how to don’t things in your life?

Well, my friend, I have just the thing!  The always funny Me Dangerbolt has just started a new web series of How Don’ts to graciously share with us the less than ideal ways she has found to handle certain life scenarios.  (>^-‘)>

Check out the first two episodes on getting ready below:

 

 

 

Bene vīvite.

Sometimes Bees, Though

Honey Bee

They don’t let you have bees in here

 

There was once a dispassionate bee who flew lazily through the loftiest neighborhood in town in a desperate search of a means to occupy its time.

So it was that when it came upon a tall green townhouse with a cracked-open window, it flew straight in and spied a lone man sitting at his desk.

The bee buzzed quietly, or perhaps quite loudly, up to the man.

“I think I shall sting you,” said the bee, for that sounded rather entertaining.

The man looked over his shoulder, a bored and plastic expression commandeering his countenance, and said, “But then you will die.”  He looked back to his work without another word.

The bee thought about this for a moment.  “Then I shall not sting you.”

The mad nodded without looking back.

The bee, however, with little better to do, buzzed up to the shelves above the man’s desk.  There, it discovered a jar of sugar sitting betwixt a dusty pair of ponderous textbooks.  This was just the sort of thing the bee needed.

Buzzing first in contemplative circles around the jar, the bee then rammed the container until it toppled over, hurtling off the shelf and shattering upon the man’s head, dousing him fully in the grainy white substance.

The man frowned extensively and sat motionless for one hour and one half of one hour.  Finally, he said, “I should have sooner you stung me.  Not because it would have been less unpleasant than being covered in my favorite sugar – for surely it would have not – but because you would have then died, and at this point in time that would please me.”

“However,” replied the bee, “bees cannot speak,” and it flew away forthwith.

 

Bene scribete.

Village Panorama

 

The Village in Meridian

 

There’s a classy new(-ish) place in Meridian that I’ve been going to lately, consisting of a movie theater reminiscent of a fancy Las Vegas hotel, an always welcome array of new restaurants, and a large chunk of real estate wasted on a disappointing overabundance of hipster clothing stores.

I thought the main courtyard was snazzy enough to provide an excuse for a wide shot.  Should have moved the camera more slowly, though…

Or maybe it’s just that my mind is too frazzled to say anything interesting this week.  (>^-‘)>

 

Bene scribete.