I came across this sign posted near the employee break room at a Lowe’s in Meridian, and found it too delightfully absurd not to capture.

I guess they’re trying to make some sort of statement about…workplace precautionary responsibilities…?  I don’t even know, but it comes off as a hilarious micro-encapsulation – a reductio ad absurdum – of the whole security vs. freedom polarity.

But you’re right, Lowe’s – it’s hard to be in any less danger than in a state of utter existential stagnation.  (>^-‘)>

Bene scribete.