Here’s another one of these, I guess, why not.
“No, that simply will not do,” muttered Dincton Flatt, dismissing yet another chair as he wandered down the expansive aisles of the Sitting King Emporium.
“You can’t be too picky, sir,” offered his robot coyote, trotting alongside him. “Surely there must be something here you fancy. It is, after all, the premiere shop in Danesbury for all your sitting needs.”
“My needs are precise, Featherby. I must be comfortable as a mouse who is – well, you must know, extremely comfortable. And it must make me look important – but not as though I’m trying to look important. It’s a delicate balance, you realize.”
“If you say so, sir.” Featherby trotted up and sniffed at another seat – a wide, over-padded avocado-green affair. “What of this one, then? I’d say it would do your bum a service.”
“Heavens, Featherby.” Flatt put a hand to his chest, eyes rolling over the thing in mortification. “It is a punishment to behold.”
“Certainly unpretentious, yes? Yet only someone of obvious importance would dare let himself be seen perched on such a seat. And it looks quite comfortable, you must admit.”
“I shall admit to nothing. Surely it must be as far from delivering a pleasant sitting experience as one might imagine would be a pair of large and unforgiving needles protruding haphazardly and expectantly from the earth.”
“That is startling imagery, sir. Nevertheless, you will not know unless you give it a try.” Featherby hopped up onto it and bounced up and down a little.
Flatt narrowed his gaze, then turned and continued walking. “Remind me to have your reasoning algorithms refined.”
The coyote sighed and jumped back down to follow.
“Can I help you find something?” a friendly but businesslike voice reached Flatt’s ear. A sharply dressed middle-aged woman approached him from a couple aisles away, navigating awkwardly between the tightly packed rows of chairs to get to him. She was carrying a clipboard. It was always clipboards.
“You’re likely to be of more help than him, I suppose.” Flatt nodded toward Featherby.
The attendant let out a small gasp on noticing the coyote. “What? Er, sir, I don’t think you’re allowed–”
“Hold the cream,” Flatt interrupted, eyes landing on a tall, ruddy-brown wingback the next row over, elegantly stitched and expertly beaded. He squeezed through a pair of plush recliners to reach it, nearly tripping over them and falling on his face, but no, gravity would not best him on this day.
“Sir?” the attendant called after him.
“This one.” He stroked the perfect chair in admiration. “Yes. This is the one. Have it prepared for me, will you?”
The attendant scanned her clipboard, offering a sympathetic smile. “I do apologize, but that item has already been claimed.”
Flatt grew pale in horror. “What? No, you must be–by whom?” He searched the chair in a desperate fit, hands landing upon a small blue tag. Across it was written one word – a word which Flatt whispered in despondency: “Cheverly.” He slumped miserably down into it, becoming only more distraught as it greeted his posterior with immaculate support.
Featherby hopped up onto his master’s lap and nosed his face. “Take heart, sir. There is still the green one.”
Flatt leaned his head back, frown threatening to unravel his features. “Oh, Featherby, why did I build you?”
“For good times, sir.”